Barack Obama Birth Certificate Released; Donald Trump Immediately Takes Credit

The White House has released Barack Obama's long-form birth certificate.
The document proves that Barack Obama was born in ... East Africa! Barack Sr., that is. Lo and behold, Barack Hussein Obama II, the 44th President of the United States of America, was in fact born in Hawaii, which has been established for years.
Anyway, now you know. Again. Donald Trump says you can thank him, too!
Obama directed the White House to release the certificate because the Commander In Chief didn't believe the distraction was good for the country.
Of course, the conspiracy theorists will probably still not cease, asking why it took so long, claiming that it's obviously fake for various reasons, etc.
Real estate mogul and possible 2012 challenger Donald Trump, who's stoked the flames of this "birther" controversy for weeks, had this to say:
"I'm very proud of myself," he says, adding, "We have to see if it's real."
The Apprentice star said, "Today I'm very proud of myself, because I've accomplished something that no one else has been able to accomplish."
"I want to look at it, but I hope it's true so that we can get on to much more important matters ... he should have done it a long time ago."
Trump says of the document, "We have to look at it, we have to see. Is it real? Is it proper? What's on it? But I hope it checks out beautifully."
"I am really honored, frankly, to have played such a big role in hopefully, hopefully getting rid of this issue," he said of his bread and butter.